Dear Sweet Woman ~
People always told me, "you are so hard on yourself," and I didn't get it. I have parts that have ridiculously high expectations of myself, compare myself to others, and question my self worth. Until I learned to truly listen to those parts, it felt impossible to see my own worth, my own divine beauty, and my own love-ability.
After a lifetime of struggling with the effects of trauma, PTSD, ADHD manifested in depression, anxiety, overwhelm, perfectionism, numbing my feelings with food, and an eating disorder, I felt like I was dying inside. Years of individual and group therapy helped me to see what others saw in me. I learned the practice of radical self-compassion, an ongoing commitment to self-love amidst the messiness of being a highly sensitive human. In 2013, I became a Certified Holistic Health Coach, then later a Certified Professional Recovery Coach and She Recovers Designated Coach.
I know all about being crazy hard on yourself, feeling broken and thinking you SHOULD be doing things differently (AKA better), because this struggle continues to be my biggest life lesson.
Untreated trauma held me in the grips of a paralyzing limiting belief that I wasn't good enough: not smart enough, beautiful enough, thin enough, or together enough. For years, I used food to soothe the parts of me that desperately wanted to control and manage my pain and shame. Like many, I was brainwashed by society's ridiculously narrow definition of beauty, and I could never attain the standards of beauty that I so fervently believed would prove my worth.
My self-care was at the bottom of the list, and anyway, how in the hell was I supposed to make that happen as a full-time, stay at home, HOMESCHOOLING mama? There was virtually no Kristina time. My energy went towards cooking healthy meals, managing my kids' health with herbal concoctions and tinctures, and striving to provide rich, full lives for them.
Underneath it all, I was in pain and longing to be heard, but I had no idea how to feel my feelings or self-regulate. I was full of self-doubt and insecurity--until I couldn't stand it anymore. Then I figured out that instead of trying to outrun my pain, I needed to lean into it with loving curiosity and compassion.
As I practice daily trauma-informed habits that soothe my nervous system, I teach women to do the same. We work on healing and recovery by identifying childhood wounds, dialoguing with their inner parts, recognizing trauma responses and limiting beliefs, and learning to hold themselves with radical self love instead of shame.
I've combined education, personal development, self-reflection and compassion to create the Radical Self-Compassion Coaching Method, where women learn to love all of their parts and own their gifts.
I teach the women I work with how to step out of struggle and into radical self-compassion.